A Day and a Night ...

More than a year has passed. My husband and I already celebrated our first wedding anniversary. Friends have married and some were even lucky to already be blessed with their bundle of joy. I just recently left my job to finally join my husband in Singapore. These and a lot more things have already transpired in my so called life. There is one thing though, that I always keep on coming back to, my passion for writing.

Before I share the story of our wedding day let me first take this opportunity, through this article, to thank my “sisters” for giving me a memorable day and night that I will forever cherish. When I say “sisters”, I am not only referring to my wonderful siblings but also to all the ladies who make my life extra colorful.

For a person who is a homebody and who has only few special friends, it is truly heartwarming and surprising to get two separate bridal showers.

The first one took place exactly a month before our wedding day. This was also the same day that Rico’s best friend and one of our groom’s men, Neil, tied the knot to his lovely bride, Me-ann. It was a Saturday and the wedding was held at one of the country’s favorite venue; Caleruega, Transfiguration Chapel, located at Nasugbu Batangas.

The day started really early for us. The wedding is scheduled at 10am. Rico is also one of the groomsmen so we were naturally expected to be there earlier for the ceremony. While on the road, Rico suddenly asks me if we can visit his Aunty Baby that night since she just came home from the United States. She is currently staying at the Astoria Hotel in Ortigas with some friends. I agree but also told him that if the wedding takes long and we will be coming home late then we might as well reschedule it to another date. After all, we still have a scheduled fitting with our seamstress early next morning. His only reply was, “we have to go there tonight, magtatampo si Aunty". Upon hearing this, I felt upset. I find it inconsiderate that he still insists on visiting his aunt on a Saturday night when he knows that our weekend schedule is already full. Saturday night is practically the only time we can rest. Of course I tried to reason out with him but surprisingly he was very insistent. Is this my Rico? The guy who will jump at any chance of sleeping is insisting and even arguing on visiting his aunt on a Saturday night! It was so surreal it actually made my mouth shut.

In the middle of the awkward silence, Rico tried and successfully changed the subject by asking me to help him with the direction. He asked me to reach for the map, a piece of white paper inside his bag, at the backseat of the car. The seatbelt and the dress I was wearing at that time made it difficult for me to reach for the paper or any item at the backseat for that matter. So I took hold of the first white paper that I can reach. When I opened it I was surprised to see a letter instead of a map authorizing my sister Ms. Rizabel…. Whoa!! What’s this? I asked and immediately turned to Rico who in turn snatched the paper from my hands. I asked him again with a mischievous smile and insist that he tells me but he just kept driving as if he’s not hearing anything. Eventually, I stopped questioning him, but in my mind I was naturally wondering what he is up to. Of course, I wouldn’t want to spoil his fun. Nonetheless, I can’t help but be intrigued and restless at the same time.

Later that night I discovered what he was up to, together with my sisters and girlfriends, and it was really sweet. I cannot really think of a better word for it. It was actually a simple bridal shower with some wholesome and not so wholesome games. I enjoyed all the games particularly the “pinoy henyo”, it was hilarious. The food, drinks, and the very scandalous cake were all winners. And of course, who would forget their very “yummy” package, ordered, delivered, and sealed just for me ;). Before my package came, they covered my eyes with a hanky. After some time, Mr. Yummy made his presence felt. I actually had goose bumps all over me! And then the time to meet Mr. Yummy came. He slowly removed my eye cover and there I was hoping to see Ding Dong Dantes in front of me when lo and behold he was even better! Standing in front of me was my destiny, my Rico.

More than the games, the food, and the surprises, what made the whole event very memorable are the people. The time and effort they gave truly made me feel special and loved.

Thank you to my family, ate Jehan, ate Mimi, kuya Tone, Shobe and Veka. They were the ones who coordinated, organized, and planned everything. Considering how busy my Ate’s are, one being a businesswoman and the other a doctor, I was really touched by their gestures. They spent the whole Saturday making balloons, making the necessary arrangements, and decorating the place. I love you guys!!

Thank you to my friends who managed to be there despite their very busy schedules and made the event so much fun. Richelle, Niña, Rosey, Dindy, Mel, Mervi and BeAnn. Looking at them made me realized how diverse my friends are. But it also made me appreciate that each one of them represents a portion of me, of my character. I will forever be grateful that God let our paths crossed. You are all awesome!

Thank you to my friends who were not able to come but still made their presence felt. To Jen, I really appreciate the phone call all the way from Cagayan de Oro. To Joanne and Reich, the program and games were wonderful. Thank you so much! And to Madie, my friend who was in Singapore at the time, your simple comment of “I really wish I was there” in facebook says it all.

Finally, to my one and only, you never fail to surprise me. Thank you for always finding ways to make me happy.

My second bridal shower was courtesy of my ADB family spearheaded by my close friends Abby, Pia, and my Ninang, Ms. Marilyn. I remember it took place 3 days before my wedding day. It was celebrated over our one hour lunch break, which explains why the theme was called KISS for “Keep It Short and Sweet”. I will have to add that it was a very wholesome affair, so wholesome, in fact, that even our male colleagues were invited. I find it really heartwarming that the two males who came also happen to be two of our foreign officers.

It started with a simple lunch in the Executive Dining Room of ADB. There were no games, surprises, nor kinky cakes and candies. But what made it memorable were the experiences, thoughts, and advices shared by my officemates. Since most of them are already married with children and grandchildren, even, for some, it was really interesting for me to hear their stories.

There were talks about the importance of open communication, submitting one’s self to their spouse, trust and respect. Some very inspiring quotations were also printed in pink papers and read aloud in the group. Among my favorites are;

“The best and the most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.” – Helen Keller

“What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility.” – Leo Tolstoy

“In marriage, each partner is to be an encourager rather than a critic, a forgiver rather than a collector of hurts, an enabler rather than a reformer.” – Norman Wright and Gary Oliver

The most striking insight for me though was ironically the one shared by a male colleague. He said, and I quote, “in your relationship believe that tomorrow will always be the best”. While pondering about what he said, another male colleague disagrees saying, why should the best have to be tomorrow when it could be today?

The answer was, if you believe that tomorrow will always be the best then you will always have something to look forward to and be excited about in your relationship. In the process, you will soon realize that with that kind of attitude, everyday is the best day for you and your partner. I agree.

To my ADB friends and colleagues who became part of this short but truly sweet gesture, a big thank you! Just the thought that in spite of their very busy schedules, they chose to share one hour of their precious time to make me feel special is something that I will forever treasure.

Both events are beautiful and unique in their own ways. I learned a lot and became much, much more appreciative of my family and friends, most specially my “sisters”. It made me realized that I may just be a speck in this big, wide world we live in but this speck, for a moment, can be the world in the eyes of those dear to her. Distance, diversity, and time are, indeed, immaterial for people who have sincere love and care for each other.

E-Session

When I decided to come up with this blog on our wedding preps I was full of enthusiasm on the prospect of consolidating the whole experience blow by blow, on the dot. Only to realized that the drive is there but the time is just isn’t enough. The combos of career, personal issues, family concerns, and wedding planning successfully zapped me of the energy and delayed me in pursuing my mission… for a while.

Approximately five months after the wedding, I am back to continue and hopefully finish what I so excitedly started. Nothing is more fatiguing than the hanging of an unfinished task. I agree.

Let me kick this off with our painful + fun + satisfying + impressive engagement session experience with our wedding photographer, Mr. Bobby Delos Santos, the other half of the duo brothers, from Redfox Photography (http://www.redfoxphotography.com/).

More than the memories, prenuptial pictures are meant to display the couple’s celebration of love for each other. This is formally presented to the guests through Audio Visual Presentation (AVP) that is normally enjoyed during wedding receptions. In addition, this is also a great opportunity for the soon to be bride and groom to tests the skills of their hired make-up artists through make-up trials. Talk about hitting two birds with one stone.

Before, e-sessions used to be a simple and straightforward affair. Couple’s go to the studio, have their make-up done, strike their cutest and cheesiest posts, and that’s it. But now, as the wedding industry grow the themes and gimmicks for prenuptial pictures also revolutionized. The modern couples are no longer satisfied with the usual studio pictorials but want to go the extra miles by having high fashion or themed pictorials. Some couples even hire their very own stylists!

As for my now husband and I, budget in consideration, we decided to make our lives more difficult but exciting by coming up with a themed e-session and hiring ourselves as stylist! Believe me, it was not an easy task. First, we had to do some brainstorming. The goal is to come up with concepts that is unique but will still be able to reflect who we are individually and as a couple. Second, the planning stage, wherein we had to look for the right venue that fits the theme and buy the necessary costumes and props. Third, the implementation stage, make-up, photographer, logistics, and Maid-of-honor to assist (hehe!), CHECK!

The first attempt took place on Oct 21, 2010. It was Thursday. Everything was ready including my maid-of-honor who also happens to be my sister who is a doctor and who luckily on that week until the next coincidentally decided to take a vacation leave and was very much happy to assist, yey! Thank you so much Ate!

In the morning, we all went to our make-up artist’s studio, Faye Young (http://makeupbyfayeyoung.multiply.com/), for the trial make-up. My hair is almost already done and Faye was about to start the make-up when suddenly, it became dark. The wind came and from the window we can see the trees swaying and dancing. Small raindrops started falling and …. BOOM!! …. We all paused and stared at the pouring rain.

Rico almost cried. I went to him, embraced him, and said “honey, things happen for a reason”. Surprisingly, at that time, it was my husband who was really affected. We were just both so stressed with the wedding preparations that he just wanted everything to be over and done with. I would have to say that I am one of those lucky brides whose groom is also very much hands-on on the preparation, which is one of the reasons, why I love my husband so much more. Looking back, I now consider it as blessing in disguise. Not only were we able to relax but we were also given extra time to iron out details that we fail to consider on our first attempt for e-session.

Take two, the implementation stage, make-up, photographer, logistics, Maid-of-honor to assist (hehe!), and weather! CHECK!

Oct 26, 2010, Tuesday, it was now or never. We were all determined to have our e-session and have fun at the same time. While having our hair and make-ups done, we can’t help to look at the window from to time to time but God is on our side at that day. The day was just right. Our make-up artist, Faye Young, kept on cheering us up with her stories and advices. After some time, Bobby Delos Santos and the rest of the Red Fox team came. My sister was there to constantly assist us and lend support. At that moment, Rico and I can’t help but be grateful and knew that finally at the end of that day we will be able to strike prenuptial pictures from our checklist.

Our theme is Vintage. We would like to create a classic and chic atmosphere and maintain a fun and candid look at the same time. My husband and I are not so much into portrait shots but more on the natural and spontaneous looks. We were really impressed that our photographer, who does high fashion shoot most of the time, was able to do a very good job considering that as far as I know it was his first time to do a themed prenuptial shoot. With Rico and I’s personalities, we would like to make sure that we will be able to communicate a light and carefree feeling in our prenuptial pictures.

The first stop was at a small carnival or “perya”, in Filipino, located at the Marikina River Banks. It was around 2 pm in the afternoon and luckily there are still few people at the carnival at the time. A few days before, we already visited the place and asked if we have to accomplished permits but we were advised that it is not necessary. True enough, there were some discussions at first when we got there but eventually the people in charge were nice enough to accommodate us and allowed us to shoot.

      

The second stop was at our wedding venue, The Mango Farm, located at Antipolo, Rizal. The vintage theme was still used in the pictorial; however, we would like to show in the pictures our individual personalities as well. For instance, Rico is the techie type but since we’re projecting an old era, rather than computer he was using the typewriter. In addition, he’s also a frustrated photographer (hehe!). On my part, I love to read, hence the picture of the books of my favorite authors, and I love to write as well, obviously! ;)



As a couple, included in our hobby is jogging. And since were both from Marikina, where else do we go but to the Marikina Sports Park, which is also the final stop of our e-session. It was almost dark when we got to MSP. There were already a lot of people but this didn’t hinder us to accomplish our purpose. It was interesting as well that at the time a soccer team composed of foreigners were also there practicing. Of course, our photographers were keen enough to use this to our advantage.

In the end we all went home with a smile on our faces. Personally, I believe that prenuptial pictures should not only produce a good picture but a story that can depict the characters of the couples as well as their love for each other. Seeing the product of our labor was a truly a satisfying and fulfilling experience. Memories are made, relationships were established, and beautiful stories can now be shared.



Our Discovery Weekend Experience

It’s been a while since my last post. The past few months were quite hectic for me and Rico. Career, personal issues, wedding preps, among other things, can really make a person feels like a top turning non-stop. But to stop and pause we had to do when we decided to participate in the Discovery Weekend last Jul 2 to 4.

Discovery Weekend as defined in their website is …“a weekend experience held in the Philippines for engaged couples or "steadies" who are seriously considering marriage”. The program gives the couples the chance to have a deeper understanding of one’s relationship to oneself, to each other, to God and to the community.

We first learned about the Discovery Weekend through Rico’s sister, Ate Cris, who also went through the same program before she got married. After hearing our plans to get married, Ate Cris immediately advised us to attend DW, saying that it is a worthwhile experience. True enough, it was.

The experience was really new to me considering that I am a Muslim by birth and the program is run by a Catholic group. Even when I was still studying, although I graduated from Catholic schools, I am always excused from joining Retreats. Rico, on the other hand, who is a Muslim convert, enjoys these activities and considers it as food for the soul.

One thing that I liked about DW is that even though Rico and I have a different religion, this didn’t hinder us from achieving our objective. That is to have a deeper understanding of each others’ personality, values and beliefs. The system implemented by DW comes in three stages, Discussion, Reflection and Couple’s Dialogue. We heard stories from different couples who shared a portion of their lives to us. I consider these stories as lessons on how to make our relationship and marriage stronger with the Almighty God in the center.

Before we enter the DW program, we heard that there are couple’s who actually decided to part ways after their DW experience. I must admit that this made me worry. A few weeks before our schedule, we are going through a lot of miscommunications and arguments. I felt that the magic that I initially felt for Rico is slowly fading away and being replaced by problems and disagreements. Still, I chose to conquer my worries and discussed my reservations with Rico. We decided that no matter what happens in DW, separation is not an option.

DW thought us that there are three stages of love, Illusion, Disillusion, and True Joy. I felt hopeful when I heard this. I realized that no matter the trials that comes our way, as long as there is love between us, I can only expect for something beautiful in the end, true joy.

Before I end this article, I would like to take this opportunity to write another love letter to the man I am going to spend the rest of my life with;

Dearest Honey,

I never expected to write so many love letters to only one person in just a matter of two days :). What surprises me is that after all the love letters that we were tasked to do at DW, I find that it is something that I will never get tired of doing as long as I am doing it for you.

We may not be the perfect couple. We may have many misunderstandings. In the future, I may upset you so much that you will lose your patience with me. On the other hand, you may upset me so much that I might just punch you on the face :P. Nonetheless, I want you to know that no matter what happens, as long as you make me feel that you still want me, that you still need, that you still love me ... I will stay.

In my eyes, you are beautiful. In my heart, you fill the other half. This may sound cliché but you complete me. Marriage is a lifetime commitment and I am embracing it will all that I am with you.

I love you so much my cheek boy!! Muah!! :)


Loving you always,

Lyza :)

Lesson Learned on Wedding Fairs

For couples who are planning to get married, is it truly a must to attend a wedding fair? Based from personal experience, I totally think it is. The first wedding fair that I have attended was at the Mega Trade Hall at SM Megamall. Rico and I were so excited at that time. Our objective then was mainly to get ideas on the rates and to have a feel on what to expect once we officially start planning a wedding. Our minds were set that the experience will definitely be so much fun.

There we were, excited and a bit awed on all the different suppliers showcasing their crafts, creativeness and expertise. We have no idea where to start nor how to begin but still off we go, after all we look at it as a new adventure! And like any adventure, we realize, more than being fun, you will also encounter different ordeals that can steal your initial excitement.

Passing along the different booths, we started to see flyers, leaflets and brochures all over the place. And since Rico and I were not prepared about anything at that time, all those flyers and leaflets and brochures found its way on our hands! How did it got there, I have no idea! Everything was actually a blur. One moment, I was just holding my bag and the next my hands were already full! Good thing there is this one supplier who also gives out paper bags. Little did we know that this supplier with an orange bag labeled as "The Mango Farm", will also play a significant part in our wedding (that i will discuss on a separate article :D).

Along with these are the various information that were being fed to us. Of course, discussions were made with some suppliers, questions were raised but when its over we soon realized that we still have some questions that we forgot to ask. Moreover, even though we met several suppliers already, once we left the fair and look back, we found that there are still other more important ones that we were not able to see.

As the saying goes, experience is the best teacher. I told myself that the next time we attend a wedding fair, things will be different. So I decided to come up with few tips/reminders on how to make our experience productive and fun.

1. Identify your main objective in attending wedding fairs

There are different reasons to attend wedding fairs. Couples may attend because (a) they wish to get ideas; (b) rather than setting up a separate meeting with a particular supplier, they opt to meet them on a wedding fair instead to save time and be able to check other suppliers as well; (c) to avail of discounts and freebies; (d) to personally check out the product and services of suppliers. Although, I consider all the mentioned reasons important, in our case, the main objective is to avail of the discounts and and freebies. We are under budget after all and it would really help our wallets and pockets if we get the products and services that we want at a reasonable price. Different strokes for different folks, after all.

2. Research, research, and focus

Before you venture into anything, it always help to be prepared. We already have the Internet at our disposal so let's take advantage of it. Most if not all of the wedding suppliers, nowadays, already have websites to advertise their products and services. Check them out first, compare, eliminate and select. By doing this, you will be able to focus your attention more on the supplier that you really want at the wedding fair and not be sidetrack by suppliers who may seem great at advertising but not on delivery. Moreover, research will also give you the chance to list down all the pertinent questions that you need to ask. From my experience, knowing something about a supplier before talking to them gives me the feeling of being in control. Lets not run like chickens without head, research and be guided.

3. Be equipped with all the materials that you need

This may sound simple and irrelevant but believe me these things will make your wedding fair visit a lot comfortable. Ball pen... check! Paper bag... check! Cash/check book ... check! Fiance... check! (huh?).. Yep, it's always fun to attend wedding fairs with your partner. Other people thinks that wedding preparations is a girl thing but that is a big NO! The groom is just as important as the bride. It is also HIS wedding after all so involve him and you will be surprise on the ideas that he can share. I was actually surpise on the way my fiance expertly negotiates and haggles. He is so into the preparation that I begun to appreciate and love him more.

4. Finally, follow your instincts

Naturally, potential suppliers will sell and display all that they have and can do in order for you to avail their services. But remember to always follow your instinct. Consider your rapport with each of the suppliers you're thinking of hiring. I had one experience with a supplier who was very enthusiastic in advertising herself. She was talking non-stop and telling lots of stories on how good she and her team is. We actually talked for more than 30 minutes. Out of courtesy of course, I listened on the things that she can offer. Everything seems fantastic but for some reason there is something in me that is saying she is not the one. So I politely told her that I will consider and asked for her calling card. Few days later, I met with a friend who just recently got married. And coincidentally, she hired the same persistent supplier that I met for her wedding! All my friend could say was, "No, do not hire her, she's full of talks at the beginning but in the end she was not able to deliver well"... Whew! Thank God I followed my instincts.

That's about it. I would like to emphasize that I am no expert. I am actually slowly learning too as my wedding preparations progress. But so far, I can say, that these practices helped me in some ways. I hope that they may be able to help other couples too. Till next time! :)

After the "Yes"

The moment I said “Yes” to Rico, everything afterwards felt like magic. It’s like entering a different dimension where all the things you see are beautiful. I guess love does that to everyone. More than anything, the happiness of our friends and family on our engagement makes the experience even more special. Then after some time, reality starts to sets in. Of course the love, happiness, and magic remain, however, another feeling also begin… fear and anxiety.

How I wish preparing a wedding is as easy as saying “Yes”. Unfortunately, that is not the case. For busy people like us, or I guess to anybody, regardless of occupation for that matter, planning a wedding can be really overwhelming. How, where and when to start is already hard to answer then came the issue of BUDGET! Once you get to this point of consideration, you will definitely say that getting married is no easy task.

But then again, in the end, what matters is that you are planning and preparing this very special, once in a lifetime event, with the person you love and plans to spend the rest of your life with. In my case, I look at our wedding as our first big project together. It can either make us or break us. Definitely, I wouldn’t want the latter to happen. So, as early as now, I tell myself that this project has no room for failure. If Rico and I can survive this then we can survive anything in the future that comes our way.

To start the ball rolling, we first envisioned how we want our wedding to look like. Looking back, most of the special things that happened to us took place during night time. We became a couple on the night of 29Jan2008. Our quality time (whether date via webcam or the real thing!) usually happens after work, approximately 6 pm (provided there’s no ot :P), onwards. I said yes under the stars while on vacation at Palawan.

So what does that tell us? Well, other than the obvious that our wedding will not happen in the morning, we want to capture the romance of the night and let its magic manifest in our union. Exactly what makes the night so romantic anyway? I’d say one reason would be the sparkling moon and stars that shines upon us.

Incidentally, being Muslims, the concept of having a Celestial theme also fits with the Islamic symbol of a crescent moon and star. Honestly speaking, I only thought of this when we have already decided on the theme. With that, I would like to look at this coincidence as a blessing and guidance from above.

Now that we have established our wedding theme it naturally follows that our colors will be the color of the night; silver to signify the moon, yellow-gold to capture the stars and navy blue to depict the wonder of the night sky.

In any endeavors, I believe the most difficult stage is to begin. The moment we came up with our theme, I feel that little by little the rest slowly follows. Of course, this is just the beginning and I can’t help but look forward for more exciting things to come. After all, we still have a long way to go :)

Future Recollections

Just a few days ago, my family and my fiancé’s family, with the exception of our moms (who already shared good times in Bohol! :P), met for the very first time in observance of the Filipino tradition of “Pamamanhikan”. It still amazes me that in 2 years of being together as a couple, Rico and I will now venture into the next stage, that of being husband and wife.

Looking back, I still remember the first time, and the second time and the third time that I said “No” to Rico when we were in the courting stage. Not that I don’t find him attractive but mainly because I don’t want to go into long distance relationship. Being an engineer, he is normally assigned to contracts abroad. Being single for like forever, on the other hand, made me wary to enter a relationship where, in my impression, is no relationship at all since the person I’m supposedly in love with is always not around. However, it seems that fate has a different plan for us. Who would have thought that daily text messages of “good morning” and “good night” across the continents between two people can lead to something wonderful, but it certainly did. Rico’s patience and perseverance eventually melt this prim and proper’s defenses.

After almost a year of courting, we became a couple and 2 months before our first anniversary, I said “Yes” to my best friend, my soul mate and the love of my life. Being the cautious type, it actually took me a couple of minutes to decide, thinking that things seem to be going a little too fast. Then I realize that I have been single for all of my 26 years, if what I am experiencing at that instance is a little too fast, then maybe for a change, it is for the best. After all, life has never been more exciting until he came into my life. So I said “Yes” to the man kneeling and offering himself in front of me. I said “Yes” to the man who never quit despite all the rejections. I said “Yes” to the man who accepted me for who I am and what I believe in. I said “Yes” to the man who loves me unconditionally. And finally, I said “Yes” to the man I love unconditionally in return.

The journey from the time we first met to where we are now is not smooth sailing. We have lots of differences and misunderstandings to deal with. Even more so considering our long distance set up coupled with our religious beliefs! No less than a Muslim and an Opus Dei! A match made in heaven, indeed! Nonetheless, nothing is impossible with a little maturity, a dose of patience, a sprinkle of respect, a cup of trust and a whole lot of loving!

The “Pamamanhikan” is the most recent beautiful event that took place in our lives. It is another memory that I will forever cherish for all the people involved experienced laughter, camaraderie and meeting of minds.

It will always be fun and sentimental to look back at these happy memories. And now it is time to move forward and create wonderful memories on the most exciting stage of our lives, so far… our wedding day.

From the preparation to the big day, I wish to document EVERYTHING! I know that in the course of our relationship, like any married couple, we will experience trials and problems and if that time comes all I have to do is to revisit this site and let these blissful memories shower me. By doing so, I hope to remember how we were and why I chose this person to be with me, through thick or thin, in sickness and in health, till death do us part… together forever.